Bottom of the 9th and the bases are loaded...maybe not...

Those of you following our progress might be wondering what our departure date is actually going to be...well, it's been adjusted more than tight knickers on a fat lady in Florida.  
The few days that I've been "dark" on this blog were when we were being consumed with a variety of "new challenges."

While we learned which RV place we will consult for future services and maintenance (and which ones we have removed from our Christmas Card list) we also were ducking every curve ball that came our way and of course that doesn't cover all the split-finger fast balls and change-ups that were lobbed across the plate as well.

Truly, I have no freakin' idea what I just said, but have relied on Donald to give me some baseball jargon to offset the Starwars | Star Trek | Apollo 13  bend I've been on recently.

Instead of this update being titled "Houston, we have a problem..." I thought I'd take a shot at protraying a "Homestand Hitting Slump" (work with me here) I'm trying to figure out how to explain the panic that occured with the laptop crashing worm virus (better than the dogs having worms!)

Then the burning question:  Do the Danes need a new set of vaccines or treatments to preclude them from getting all sorts of nasty parasites? The answer was YES they DO - to the tune of $350.00. However, we can sleep more soundly knowing we have attempted to keep them safe from the attack of Deer Ticks, Brown Dog Ticks, American Dog Ticks, Lone Star Ticks (Lone Star Ticks? What the heck are these things? Swaggering bloodsuckers from Texas with pointy cowboy boots and a drawl? Geez, I thought that described J.R. from "Dallas") Oh yeah, and then there is the possibility of Chewing Lice (EWWW!) and Mosquitos, which in Vermont can be big and ornery enough to grab the TV remote outta your hands if you even vaguely consider changing the channel.

Then, we have the little issue of a pesky ABS light (coming on and staying on) which according to the owner's manual (which we have memorized) signifies an issue with the back brakes. AND whilst it's in the shop (yet again) how's'bout taking a look at the lousy air conditioning in the cab? The AC in the coach could keep an eskimo in long underwear, but the puny airflow in the cab from the front vents couldn't kill a birthday candle.  Contemplating a long drive across the flat lands in 120 degree heat put a sheen of sweat on my brow and that twisted knickers/fat lady image just wouldn't leave my stressed brain. 

Then there was the spring out of bed in the middle of the night launched by:  SH*T!!! Do we ALL have the correct papers to venture into Canada without being apprehended and detained past next Easter by Homeland Security?   Not just the dogs mind you, but are our passports good? ...Oh Canada, our home and native land...true patriot love in all thy sons command. ...then, AUGH! Springing from bed, again, to find my wallet to determine that indeed - my driver's license expires about a week before our estimated return date.

Did I mention we still needed to get a humongous Surge Protector? FOUND ONE - that was supposed to come with a FREE locking hasp (on back order) a GPS that will alert for maximum limits on height, width and details of covered bridges, tunnels, overpasses, cow grates, bad omelets and dodgy bathrooms in truck stops...and my lists now have lists!!!  

GPS - FOUND ONE and tested it out - yep - worked great - got us to the SPD Firing Range so we can be on time for our Gun Safety course tomorrow.  We're taking a firearm with us, in addition to the Louisville Slugger we usually have by our backdoor, and want to be as responsible as possible...also want to be more proficient than Donald tossing a .357 in a darn good pitch at a would-be intruder. 

Guess what I'm trying to say is our departure date is being slid from leaving ahead of the July 4th traffic (July 1st) - like a fast ball <- hmm...not sure I like the way I tried to seque into the baseball thing again - but we are now planning to fake a bunt and set out on Tuesday, July 5th...AFTER all the Fourth of July competition has left the field and headed into the locker room.

Yeah, I agree - I stink at this baseball analogy thing.  Think I'm going back to a space theme...ever heard of Serenity?   Yeah, that's what we're headed for something that feels calm and peaceful.  After this, everything can go back to being "SHINEY!"   Sing with me now...
http://www.fireflywiki.org/img/Ballad_of_Serenity.mp3

“You’ve never heard of the Millennium Falcon?

  …It's the ship that made the Kessel Run in less than twelve parsecs...outrun Imperial starships.  Not the local bulk cruisers mind you, I'm talking about the big Corellian ships now.”  ~ Han Solo, Starwars (1977)

I’m a fan of Starwars – when it first came out, I waited in line to see it.  Not a lot of movies that I’ll wait in line to see, but that was one of them, and I wasn’t disappointed.  It was amusing to see how the heroes managed to evade all the bad guys in a vessel that was full of quirky systems that were held together (in essence) with bailing wire and spit...also helped to have a wing and prayer too...so you may see some similarities...

We’re in the process of learning how to navigate the “new world” of RV servicing and routine maintenance.  It’s a whole lot different than taking the ’95 Volvo wagon into Larry’s down the street and telling him to work his magic.  He’s reliable, honest, and efficient and you can drop your jalopy of on Tuesday for a major repair and get it back by the end of the day on Wednesday.  You don’t get a rose on the dashboard like the Saturn place, but you walk out with money still in your pocket and your credit card isn’t suffering a melt-down. 

Our RV, in fact, is going to be sort of like a Great Dane.  When you take a Dane into the vet, (other than passing through the waiting room filled with “lesser canines”, terrified kitties, and owners commenting “Do you have a saddle for that thing?”)  you will most likely experience a degree of sticker shock.  Unless it’s a nail trim, you're going to pay handlsomely.  We’re talkin’ a fair sized load of cash for gracing the place with your fur-faced child’s presence.  Took us a few visits to figure out we were indeed paying for the “Dunn-Bilger Wing” of the vet clinic and oh-by-way, Doc has a really nice airplane as well.  To his credit, he’s awesome and the best Dane Specialist around, and you gotta know that you don’t get a Dane unless you acknowledge they are NOT the economy model.  Goes for an RV as well.

So, we dropped the Three Dane Inn off for (pre-arranged) servicing which was to get a 45-point inspection, roof reconditioning/resealing, an oil change and the removal of the two seats which are located on the platform area right behind the cab.  That was on Tuesday, and here it is, Thursday (11:00 am) and they're "not sure if it's ready yet."  This could be a problem - we have an appointment to get the "truck" part serviced starting tomorrow...in a different place, 'cuz the guys who do the coach part - don't do mechanical.  Since both areas are critical, we are a bit nervous on the timeframe. 

The anxiety is - one part of the job is (don't laugh) to ditch the extra seats and so make a "Dog Lounge" right behind our seats so the kids can be there in lieu of sprawling in the back...on the bed.  

No joke - we have a certain member in our family that feels his appointed place at home is to recline on the king size bed in the Master Bedroom.  We have learned that if you don’t get there before him, he will hunker down like a 175 pound barnacle and you will spend the night clinging to a sparse 18” on the edge.  You will also be white-knuckled trying to keep a corner of the blanket over you because “His Highness” (I'm not talkin' Donald here!) has parked his hiney on top of the sheets, and again has that barnacle thing going.  

Remember that old joke:  “Where does a (insert any large animal) sleep?   Answer: “Anywhere it wants!”  Well, 'tis TRUE, TRUE, TRUE!!!!  Not to worry, I’ve already staked my claim on the bunk above the cab, and as long as I can haul my butt up there and the dogs can't - my slumber is safe! 

Anyway, we’ve discovered, that an RV is similar (as one would expect) to any other unique, bigger, “special” dogs, vehicles, etc. and would tend to cost more.  So, when you take your “special” items in to be serviced, be sure to bring a pre-approved loan application and have patience as it may take them longer than usual to DO the work. 

This is where I'm thinkin’ that we are not unlike the Millennium Falcon - regardless of the preliminary maintenance we do, and all the prep and planning, this may still be a bit of a bumpy ride, especially since we're getting the hang of the whole contraption and there are so many things to rattle lose and go haywire!  

So, stabilize your rear deflectors and hold on until we make the jump to light speed! 

Nova Scotia…exactly where is Nova Scotia??

You know those postcards that you find stuck in the middle of magazines giving you about 160 options to receive more information on a specific topic?  Yeah, the ones that if you check one little box, you get flooded with enough junk mail to give your mail carrier a hernia? 


Well about 5 years ago, I selected rural Prince Edward Island as a place I’d like to visit.  Prince Edward Island - the birthplace of the “Anne of Green Gables” books that were written by Lucy Maud Montgomery.  Never heard of them?  Well, they are delightful…if you’re a girl. 

Anyway, they have a very efficient tourist agency because they promptly sent me about twelve pounds of materials that were filled with such grand scenery that I’ve become fascinated with the place.  In the course of planning our trip, I’m looking for unique destinations in the northeast of the continent, and whadaya know...Prince Edward Island pops into the view finder.  (I have a "Places I Want to Visit Before I Die” List  and PEI was holding about 4th place.)    

So, I sez to Donald this evening, “Hey, while we’re headed up to Maine to visit family and friends – how ‘bout making a little jog up to Prince Edward Island?”  My hubby doesn’t usually get that, “Are you insane?” look on his face (and living with me you’d think he'd have it down pat) but his stare is focused on me as he mutes the ballgame and says, “That’s a bit more than a jog.” 

Me, whose favorite class was English – NOT Geography, says, “Well it can’t be that far…it’s only a little up and to the right of Maine.”   Then I get out the map.   

Do you have any idea how close to the Ends of the Earth this Prince Edward Island really is???  It makes Vermont look like the Deep South!  After charting how many “inches” it is on my trusty Michelin Map – I realize that it’s about a two day drive there (in the Three Danes Inn) and another two days back to his family home in Southwest Vermont. 

Enlightening Donald with my newly discovered geography skills, he gives me an “Uh-huh” and goes back to his ballgame, leaving me still marveling at how far “up” it is on the globe.  Geez, if you thought shoveling snow in Buffalo was tough, imagine these folks, they must have stock in snow-blowers and rock salt! 

So, I guess we’re not going to PEI on THIS trip, but Donald assures me it’s still on “the list.” Then what I see flicker across his face is that “Thank God, another crisis averted” look as he settles back into the couch with Rose’e on his lap and the volume is back up on the ballgame...top of the 8th and the Mariners are up two.   

Pencil into future trip planning…Prince Edward Island – in SUMMER ONLY! 

Whadaya mean - we can't get there from here?

Maps, Maps, and more Maps!

We’ve been checking-out a ga-zillion maps trying to determine our route, and still try to keep a bit of spontaneity.  The simple task of getting from here to there has taken on a new dimension.  Don is from Vermont, and learned at very young age to find his way through the woods to the neighbor next door and "next door" is 3 miles East, over the creek and don't run into a moose! Vermont is also a state where in most instances, you have to drive 150 miles to GET to the road that takes you somewhere.  In short - his directional ability is uncanny and rivaled only by NASA's Ground Control team.  On the other hand, I’ve lived “on the coast” (a coast, any coast) most of my life, and regardless of where I am, I can usually figure out which way it is to the water, and therefore, that's where I’m headed.  Sort of like a salmon swimming upstream.  I may not know exactly where I'm going, but by golly, I know I'm headed in the right direction...sort of...of course, if you put me on a peninsula – I’m screwed, but what the heck, how often does that happen really?   (Note to self, avoid all peninsulas on this trip.)

So, you must be wondering, if Don is so good with directions, how come JoAnn is the navigator?  There are a couple of reason actually…the first being - I’m the only other humanoid passenger and it’s my duty…ney, it’s my RIGHT to have that front seat.  Reason 2:  you need an opposable thumb to change the channel on the radio, pop the top on a can of soda or unwrap a hamburger for the driver.  Reason 3:  (and the critical one) If I move from my seat, I will lose it to Julio who thinks it’s his job to assist in driving the vehicle.  He will push whoever is sitting there, out of the seat and if you give an inch (and if you’ve ever been displaced by 175 pounds of Great Dane who knows how to hunker down then you know what I'm talking about) which is a stratigically devastating move that may affect the rest of a trip - especially one of this magnitude.  That front seat has great windows and if I get to it after him, there will be so much "Snoggy Dot"  (yeah, that's the way our family says Doggy Snot) on the windshield that the rest of the trip will be a blur...literally.  Also, truth be told, if I’m gonna be the navigator – I’ve got to know exactly when and where we started getting lost so that I can carefully point out that we are now on the “scenic route” instead of admitting we’re really on the “I-have-no-freakin’-idea-where-we-are” route.  

But don’t panic before we’ve even leave the chocks, we’re investing in a GPS, you know, a really good one, that talks to you and provides direction of your every turn.  Of course, our luck is that we'll end up getting the Tom-Tom GPS in the Smart A$$ Edition…’cuz it was ON SALE!  You know the one I’m talking about…that advises you in that sultry voice, “You’ve just missed your exit.”  Seconds later, in an equally calm voice informs, “Your next off ramp is 462 miles away.”  A moment later, in well modulated tones, we’ll hear, “Proceed to wander in the desert like the Israelites until you come to the next Texaco station.” 

I guess what I’m saying here is if you expect us to make it to your place, send us REALLY good directions and pray that we can Google you!  If all else fails, leave a candle in the window and shoot off a flare when you think we might be 50 miles out.  Don't worry, I’m leaving a breadcrumb trail just in case my husband decides to throw me out along the way.  ;o) 

The Three Danes Inn - Introduction

Exactly what is the Three Danes Inn, you ask?  Well, actually, it's a 29' Jayco Designer Series, Class “C” RV and for 6 weeks this summer, we are going to take it to travel across country for our family vacation.  Our family is comprised of 2 humanoids, 2 "Duval Barn" cats (a rare breed, found only in little town a stone's throw east of Seattle) and three, yes THREE Great Danes.  Come on, did you really think it was named after three guys named Franz, Hans and Lars?   They actually rule our hearts and lives, so it's only appropriate that this adventure is named for them. 

So, let me introduce the family:  Donald (the main driver of the RV), and JoAnn (the navigator) and then we have the fur-faced kids in the family.  The 2 cats - also known as the "Fatty Boyz" who are Digger and Fa-fa.  The Fatty Boyz actually have another engagement and will not be traveling with us, and the stars of the show...the Danes: 

• Morgan - the "princess" of the family, who is a 9 years old fawn bitch, with cropped ears.  She's 37" at the withers, and 145 lbs. 
• Julio - the big beautiful boy, a 6 year old fawn dog with cropped ears.  He's 37" at the withers, and 170 lbs.  
• Rose'e - our "dainty dane" - who is a black bitch with natural ears and a mere 31" and 125 lbs. 

…and so the story goes…

We’ve recently purchased a used Class “C” RV, and are in the process of getting it “road worthy.”  For us that means spending a chunk of change to make sure we don’t break-down in BF Arkansas and end up trying to strum a banjo to keep from getting shot, eaten, or well…you know…

So, we’re learning a lot as we go.  Mostly right now about all the different systems onboard, how they work, which settings need to be tweaked AND in what order you light things off to sit a spell, and which settings and hoses need to be unhooked when you want a quick getaway.  Keep in mind, we are totally “greenhorns” at this, so I’m going to be referring to the majority of this trip as an “Adventure” rather than a “Vacation” and I’m sure there are going to be times when I call it “A Little Slice of Heaven” (which is JoAnn-speak for “whose idea was this anyway?)  
As you can imagine, we’ve been searching websites, reading books, perusing pamphlets, studying manuals – and talking to a lot of people – who when it comes to RV-ing seem to come out of the woodwork when you mention you have one.  But really, we are soaking up any information that might make our trip safer, enjoyable, and also…keep us from having any event that might end up the 7 o’clock News. 

So, STAY TUNED!!!